Fridays with the Photographer | Holy Sh**! I’ve been married for five years!

A warm sunlit portrait of my husband and I in the gardens at Brantwyn Estate in Wilmington, Delaware.

I’ve had this blog post in the back of my mind for about the last six months.  It is crazy to think that it has already been five years since I’ve had my own wedding.  Sometimes, I think because I spend so much time at weddings, the feelings still feel so fresh for me.  Having that sense of the emotion of a wedding day definitely helps to keep me attuned to ebb and flow of a wedding, capturing all the little moments in between the main events.

A snippet of my wedding details, including my White Paloma Blanco dress, my black feather fascinator, and my Tim Burton-inspired black rose bouquet.

I was married before I was a photographer.  If we ever have the chance to sit down and talk about my evolution as a photographer, you’ll find out that I, unlike most other passionate photographers, didn’t come out of my mother with my grandfather’s vintage 35mm film camera grasped between my grabby little baby hands.  Instead, I picked up my first real camera at age 26 to take pictures of my cupcakes.  The rest is history (albeit, very recent history).

Getting into my Paloma Blanco wedding gown with a full train with my sister (maid of honor) and my mother.

I was not yet a photographer and had no inside knowledge of the wedding industry. I was the first of my friend group to get married so I had no recommendations or caveats.  I didn’t have a planner or day of coordinator outside of my venue, so I had no professional guidance.  So I made mistakes.  And my wedding photography is one of the best and worst decisions that I made in the wedding planning process.

Indoor wedding ceremony at Brantwyn Estate in Wilmington, DE.

How can my photos be the best and worst decision at the same time?  It’s simple.  Because of the choice of photographer that I made, I gained access to the career that would become my life consuming passion, because I tried to take on an apprenticeship with her.  Because of the choice of photographer that I made, I met Serena, who has become a wonderful close friend, a valued second shooter, and an associate with Ashley Gerrity Photography.  Because of the choice of photographer that I made, I did wind up with breathtaking photos.  Because of the choice of photographer that I made, I learned many, many ways NOT to run a successful photographer and many life/business lessons vicariously, which saved me a great deal of ache and pain in the early years of my business.

The architecture of the grand staircase at Brantwyn Estate made a lovely backdrop for our first look portraits before our ceremony.

How was this the worst decision?  Because of the choice of photographer that I made, it took me two full  years to receive my full set of wedding images (I’d receive about 50 photos at a time about every three months).  I found out through my apprenticeship that the photographer I hired did not have insurance when she photographed my wedding, charged sales tax from me that was never paid, and had staff working for her that wasn’t being paid their agreed upon amounts or sometimes at all.  After my wedding, I found out that my friends and family were put off at different moments throughout the day by the way they were spoken to or comments she had made.  Lastly, my photos are so photo-shopped that I don’t look myself in some of them. In a nutshell, although the product was beautiful, our relationships, interactions, and her business were never appropriately professional.

An intimate bridal party allowed for us to have more fun during our bridal party portraits and I still am very close to each of my bridesmaids!

What did I learn that you, as a bride-to-be should know?  What questions doesn’t The Knot tell you about weddings and photography?  After the wedding is all said and done, what really matters about your wedding day.

Our first dance was a choreographed tango. One of the activities we did leading up to the wedding was take weekly dance classes together.

I can’t give all of my secrets away today, but I’ll give you my secrets to five years happily married.  Mike and I are two incredibly independent people, which is evidenced by our bi-coastal commuter marriage.  Even before we were divided by almost 3000 miles, we lived very rich, individual lives which we continued into our marriage, seeing our friends both while we were together and on our own.  We support each other in our separate goals but make sure our lives are on the same long-term trajectory.  We have a five year plan together.  And we make time to have dinner together, as often as possible–FaceTime is a lifesaver.

We had a wonderful time at our wedding reception, dancing the night away with our closest friends and families.

This year, I am celebrating my fifth anniversary with an anniversary shoot, to be shot by Rachel and Serena.  I trust no one in the world with my photos more than my own team of associates.  I can’t wait until November, when Mike will have his first trip back home since his residency began and we will get to spend the afternoon on the other side of the camera!

What do you think the secret to a happy marriage is?  How do you plan to make your relationship a priority after the wedding is over?  Leave me a comment and let me know!

xo Ashley

An important PostScript:  All of the images, editing, and layouts in this post were courtesy our of wonderful Associate Photographer, Serena, who can also be found at Serena Star Photography.  I was lucky to have her there on my wedding day, but not as the photographer that I hired (she was the hired second shooter from our contracted photographer).  We are so fortunate that she was a part of our wedding team , because i have all of these beautiful images and even more fortunate that she is a part of the Ashley Gerrity Photography team, too.