As a Center City wedding photography professional, I’ve noted that lots of guys aren’t sure of their role during the planning stages. It’s not surprising–most wedding blogs are geared toward a female audience. This can leave guys feeling confused and helpless, especially as they watch their future wives taking on all the work themselves. But there are a few things that guys can do to help with wedding planning! Here are five of the things your bride wishes you’d do to help her plan your wedding:
1. Ask to Help
Some brides want to be the sole planner of their weddings. Some don’t. If you want to share the load, ask how you can help! Better yet, ask her what still needs to be done, and choose a few tasks you can take care of for her. Maybe it’s an unfair assumption that you don’t want to be involved in your own wedding, but it’s not an uncommon one. If you feel like your bride is not involving you enough, approach the topic unemotionally and with an open mind. She might not even realize that you want to help.
2. Give Your Opinion
You might think that being noncommittal when asked for your opinion is helpful. However, most brides say it’s one of the most frustrating things about planning a wedding! Even if you genuinely have no opinion on table linens or floral arrangements, be willing to engage in conversation about what she’s asking you. Otherwise, it feels like you’re being dismissive.
3. Listen
It’s a cliche of the dynamic between men and women that men talk about things to problem-solve, and women talk about things in order to feel understood. That’s not a black and white principle, but in my experience, it’s pretty true! Try to gauge whether she needs to vent, or if she is actually asking for help with her problem. If you’re genuinely unsure, ask!
4. Help Around the House
As a bit of a type A myself, I actually feel less stressed out when I’m shouldering most of the responsibility. If you’re marrying a type A bride, you might not need to get involved in the planning process itself. That doesn’t mean you can’t help her manage everything! Helping out with day-to-day things, like chores, can really help take the pressure off. Start doing the laundry, vacuuming, and taking charge of putting dinner on the table. That way, she can focus on planning!
5. Take Responsibility
If there’s something that’s in your corner, or that you’ve volunteered to do, take care of it promptly. For instance, if the groomsmen are mostly your friends and relatives, keep them organized. Don’t make your fiancée nag you about whether or not you’ve asked your groomsmen to attend an upcoming fitting, only to have to do it herself in the end!
What are some of the struggles that you’ve encountered in planning your wedding? How did you resolve them? Tell me your stories in the comments!
