When I agreed to write this post as Rachel & I discussed the upcoming blog calendar, I thought it would be much easier than it is. Every week, she and I have the chance to sit back and share the monumental moments of others’ lives with you. We celebrate love and new families with ease, because it is such an honor to be able to be a part of these experiences. But rarely do we step out of observer mode and share from the first person experience of one of these life-changers. Sitting here musing on something that’s about to alter my entire state of existence without knowing how exactly it will change things is actually kind of horrifying. Interesting? Yes. Full of anticipation? Yes. Utterly horrifying? Hell, yes.
Being a pregnant person has been interesting. I’ve had the chance to learn just how much people leave out of the conversation about pregnancy before you’re part of the “in crowd.” Are you glowing and growing a new existence where once was nothing but potential? Sure. But you’re also literally splitting apart at the hip joints, learning about new aches and pains that your body couldn’t have imagined before, and wondering why in god’s name you can’t make it up the steps without huffing and puffing like a chain smoker even though a few months ago you were running 5k three times a week. Or was that just me?
I was “prepared” for the idea of morning sickness and knew that it wasn’t a morning only thing. But what I wasn’t prepared for was a solid two month stint of alternating between Netflix comfort binges of my old favorite shows and naps, because being awake was just so damn exhausting. People warned me about food aversions, but never really explained that it might mean an aversion to food. Period. Not just specific foods. There is nothing quite like the first trimester feeling of stepping on the scale and losing a few pounds, while simultaneously having to wear only your fat jeans and stretchy pants because your waist is expanding.
I was the only person I know secretly thanking the universe that winter season and continued social distancing enabled me to live in pajamas and watch Gossip Girl reruns for twelve hour marathons (in between two or three naps). And I was so lucky that Dr Mike was kind enough not to comment on the days when he would come home from work to find I hadn’t really moved from the spot I was in when he left for work.
Then came the magical second trimester. I was mostly human again, as long as I didn’t eat anything citrus-y, acidic, spicy, or too flavorful. . . Because the heartburn was not a joke! But it was alright. I would eat all the bland food and mellow veggies in the world if it meant I could go back to functioning in society again! And the world was slowly starting to open up – we were heading back out for spring engagement sessions, planning for our wedding season, and I needed that extra energy to be able to tell some of my favorite couples that my terribly timed 2021 autumn wedding season baby would affect their days.
After an entire year of postponements, cancellations, and thwarted plans, can I tell you how much I DREADED those conversations? I scheduled a pile of zoom calls so that I could tell my “happy” news to a bunch of people for whom it was probably not a welcome update. But can I tell you something. . . This was the experience that just solidified my belief that we work with the coolest, kindest couples. Seriously, if you found us and we meshed enough to work together on your wedding day, it’s probably because you’re super cool.
Through the whole ordeal, we only lost one couple and the overwhelming response from our clients was positive, happy for me, and that they love our TEAM and not just me. Sure, that’s a minor blow to the ego, but it was simultaneously the biggest vote of confidence for the amazing crew that I’ve been blessed with. That crew will now get to hold down the fort in the most important season we’ve ever worked through.
May approached and we FINALLY got back in the wedding swing, as Philadelphia opened back up to celebrations. And I wrapped up my second trimester after months of not shooting events with weekends filled with long wedding days, doubles, and a more concentrated workload than any previous wedding season ever handed us. It was right along this time that I started looking more and more like I had tucked a bowling ball under my shirt. And by the end of those wedding days, I was starting to feel like I’d been carrying one, too!
But can I tell you how simultaneously good it felt to be back in action?!? Many of you followed along with my “cameo” shooting appearance at my most recent wedding (T minus 10 days) several weeks after what was intended to by my last wedding. I know I was supposed to be taking it easy and prepping for the bebe, but sitting at home and just doing office work is not fun! When I got to be at Molly & Nick’s wedding for a few hours, I was in the zone, waddling all around the ceremony for fun angles, army crawling on the ground for the perfect angle, and rolling along in a golf cart with Ann! I even managed a few dog kisses from the bestest dog of honor, Annie!
It made me sad, knowing that I’ll have to step away from all of the hustle and bustle of what makes being a wedding photographer a real kick-ass job. I’m going to miss the emotional highs of wedding days and the joyful interactions I get to share with my couples. But at the same time, I’m trying to prep myself for the emotional rollercoaster of mom-dom. But how does one really do that?
I’ve put pictures on the wall in the nursery and washed ALL of the baby clothes and bedding. Checked off the packing list for the hospital bag two or three times. I’ve cleaned weird things in my house, like the top of the refrigerator and the air vent grates. Hell, I’m bouncing on the yoga ball as I type this. . . And I’ve been bouncing on it for what feels like days on end. Despite all of this, I know that I have no idea what is actually coming my way.
Just like in business, I’ve built a team of support around me and prepared for all of the unexpected scenarios that I can anticipate, knowing that I can’t anticipate everything. Just like eighteen months ago, I couldn’t have foreseen the pandemic crashing in on us and jeopardizing our entire industry, I really have no idea what to expect with this little screaming, pooping potato crashes into my life. But if I’ve learned anything from being a bad-ass CEO, it is that the moments that try us the most are also the proudest achievements we accomplish. And I’m really ready to be proudly exhausted of this crazy monster instead of me, but on the outside instead.
Maybe, by the time you’re reading this, we’re already snuggling him. I’m writing this a week before it publishes, because as with everything else on my to do list, I’m nervous about getting it done before he shows up. So I’m bouncing here, hoping with all of my heart that he shows up on Friday the 13th, because that would just feel so right to me, all the while knowing it probably won’t happen, because that’s what I’m planning for. And as they say. . . the best laid plans are. . . usually f-ed.
So, if you’ve made it this far into my stream of pregnant lady consciousness, which I’ve only gotten through by fueling up with peanut M&Ms and many many spellcheck errors, it’s time to share with you what you actually came here for – the photos! Right? Here we are on a photo blog and I’m busy writing an existential novel!
In the middle of June, I was so lucky to be blessed with a beautiful shower at by my friends & family at Bolingbroke Mansion. My amazing industry friends behind Catering By Design fed us the most amazing spread and the Garnish crew surprised me with beautiful, vibrant flowers all over. My friends at Elegance Artistry dolled me up and I would have no one other than my own beloved team mate, Ann Blake, capture my maternity photos. Petronella brought along a camera and grabbed some photos of the celebration. It was genuinely a perfect day!
Enjoy a few snaps and keep your eyes on the ‘gram for the (hopefully impending) announcement of Baby Rhys’s arrival into the world. I’m sure it will be full of fanfare and I’ll look as tired as can be, but hopefully behind those deeply entrenched eye bags, you’ll also see the culmination of a really long nine months of eager anticipation!
